Citation
Issued
Citation no.
#00042AF3
- Offender
- Riley
- Issuing officer
- Adam
- Workspace
- Acme
Charge
"synergy"
$5.00
Total due
$5.00
Filed Jun 20, 11:42 AM
Keep a running tabon your team'sworst jargon.
A Slack app that issues a citation every time someone says "synergy", "circle back", or "open the kimono". A receipt prints. The leaderboard updates. Pride is taxed.
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Receipt · 11:42 AM
"synergy"$5.00
"circle back"$3.00
TOTAL$8.00
+1 violation
synergy$5.00✦
circle back$3.00✦
low-hanging fruit$4.00✦
leverage (as a verb)$6.00✦
boil the ocean$7.00✦
move the needle$4.00✦
ping me$2.00✦
deep dive$3.00✦
north star$5.00✦
let's take this offline$6.00✦
blue-sky thinking$5.00✦
open the kimono$9.00✦
drink the kool-aid$4.00✦
back-of-the-napkin$3.00✦
we are aligned$4.00✦
value-add$3.00✦
synergy$5.00✦
circle back$3.00✦
low-hanging fruit$4.00✦
leverage (as a verb)$6.00✦
boil the ocean$7.00✦
move the needle$4.00✦
ping me$2.00✦
deep dive$3.00✦
north star$5.00✦
let's take this offline$6.00✦
blue-sky thinking$5.00✦
open the kimono$9.00✦
drink the kool-aid$4.00✦
back-of-the-napkin$3.00✦
we are aligned$4.00✦
value-add$3.00✦
§ II · Procedure
Three steps.
One jar.
01
Add it to Slack
One-click OAuth. Jargon Jar joins the workspace as a bot. No accounts, no passwords — your Slack identity is enough.
Authorize · Done
02
Charge a violator
Type /jargon in any channel. Pick a teammate, the jargon they used, and an amount. Jargon Jar prints a citation.
$ /jargon @riley "synergy" $5
03
Read the receipts
A live leaderboard tracks who owes what. Sort by offender, by jargon, by week. Settle up at lunch — or don't.
🥇 riley$47
🥈 sam$22
🥉 priya$13
§ III · Evidence
Here's what a citation looks like.
Real channel. Real teammate. Real public shame. The receipt posts back into the thread so the conversation moves on with a small, measurable consequence attached.
- Works in any public or private channel
- Per-workspace custom rate sheet
- Running tab posts back for every charge
$Jargon Jarappposted to #general
Running total for Riley: $47.00
§ IV · Schedule of fines
The rate sheet.
Starter prices. Your workspace can edit anything — make "synergy" free, or charge $20. Vibe-based pricing encouraged.
synergy$5.00
circle back$3.00
low-hanging fruit$4.00
leverage (as a verb)$6.00
boil the ocean$7.00
move the needle$4.00
ping me$2.00
deep dive$3.00
north star$5.00
let's take this offline$6.00
blue-sky thinking$5.00
open the kimono$9.00
drink the kool-aid$4.00
back-of-the-napkin$3.00
we are aligned$4.00
value-add$3.00
§ V · What Jargon Jar can see
We readvery little.
- Your basic profile (name, avatar)
- Workspace + member list
- Slash-command payloads only
- Charges & disputes you create
- No DM contents. Ever.
- No channel-message reading