Citation No. 0042-A · Issued daily in #general

Fine your teamfor talkinglike a deck.

Jargon Jar is a Slack app that issues citations every time someone in your team says "synergy", "circle back", or — god help them — "open the kimono". A receipt prints. A leaderboard updates. Pride is taxed.

Jargon Jar's enforcement officer
Receipt · 11:42 AM
"synergy"$5.00
"circle back"$3.00
TOTAL$8.00
+1 violation
synergy$5.00
circle back$3.00
low-hanging fruit$4.00
leverage (as a verb)$6.00
boil the ocean$7.00
move the needle$4.00
ping me$2.00
deep dive$3.00
north star$5.00
let's take this offline$6.00
blue-sky thinking$5.00
open the kimono$9.00
drink the kool-aid$4.00
back-of-the-napkin$3.00
we are aligned$4.00
value-add$3.00
synergy$5.00
circle back$3.00
low-hanging fruit$4.00
leverage (as a verb)$6.00
boil the ocean$7.00
move the needle$4.00
ping me$2.00
deep dive$3.00
north star$5.00
let's take this offline$6.00
blue-sky thinking$5.00
open the kimono$9.00
drink the kool-aid$4.00
back-of-the-napkin$3.00
we are aligned$4.00
value-add$3.00
§ II · Procedure

Three steps. One jar.

01

Add it to Slack

One-click OAuth. Jargon Jar joins the workspace as a bot. No accounts, no passwords — your Slack identity is enough.

Authorize · Done
02

Charge a violator

Type /charge in any channel. Pick a teammate, the jargon they used, and an amount. Jargon Jar prints a citation.

$ /charge @riley "synergy" $5
03

Read the receipts

A live leaderboard tracks who owes what. Sort by offender, by jargon, by week. Settle up at lunch — or don't.

🥇 riley$47
🥈 sam$22
🥉 priya$13
§ III · Evidence

Here's what a citation looks like.

Real channel. Real teammate. Real public shame. The receipt posts back into the thread so the conversation moves on with a small, measurable consequence attached.

  • Works in any public or private channel
  • Per-workspace custom rate sheet
  • Dispute button for the wrongly accused
# general · acme
riley11:41 AM

ok so the real synergy here is we circle back on this on monday

adam11:42 AM

/charge @riley "synergy" $5 + "circle back" $3

$
Jargon Jarapp11:42 AM
Citation issued
#00042
Offender@riley
Violation"synergy"$5.00
Violation"circle back"$3.00
Total due$8.00
§ IV · Schedule of fines

The rate sheet.

Starter prices. Your workspace can edit anything — make "synergy" free, or charge $20. Vibe-based pricing encouraged.

synergy$5.00
circle back$3.00
low-hanging fruit$4.00
leverage (as a verb)$6.00
boil the ocean$7.00
move the needle$4.00
ping me$2.00
deep dive$3.00
north star$5.00
let's take this offline$6.00
blue-sky thinking$5.00
open the kimono$9.00
drink the kool-aid$4.00
back-of-the-napkin$3.00
we are aligned$4.00
value-add$3.00
§ V · What Jargon Jar can see

We readvery little.

  • Your basic profile (name, avatar)
  • Workspace + member list
  • Slash-command payloads only
  • Charges & disputes you create
  • No DM contents. Ever.
  • No channel-message reading
§ VI · Final notice

Stop letting synergy happen for free.